Hey, Ralph, I'm open.
Ralph, come on.
I can score. I can score.
- Go for the lay-up. - Foul. You hacked.
- Fonzie, did I hack him? - No hack.
No hack. No hack. No hack. No hack.
Hey, Rich, I got my history test. Come on.
- Come on, are we playing or not? - Get somebody else.
John. Hey, John.
- How'd you do? - I don't know, I probably flunked.
I'm afraid to look. Would you look?
- Let me see. - B-plus.
B-plus.
- I knew I had it cinched. - Sure.
All right, back to the salt mines, guys.
Great, I got biology. We gotta cut up frogs.
- Right after lunch? - I never thought of that.
I got French.
So do I.
Hey, Fonzie, do you have to go back to work?
I'm taking the day off.
You got big plans?
No, I thought I'd drive down to Arnold's.
There's a phone number on the wall I've been meaning to try.
Sounds interesting.
- You going back to class? - No. I got a free period.
Wanna come down to Arnold's with me?
Oh, no, thanks. I'm not much on blind numbers.
This test?
No sweat. I'd get an A.
- You knew all the answers? - I just said I'd get an A, didn't I?
Fonzie, didn't you ever regret dropping out?
No, too many rules.
I guess it doesn't really matter.
I mean, you're doing pretty well as a mechanic.
You're kind of the... The Mickey Mantle of the grease pit.
I'm the best.
I bet it's a lot of fun living in the adult world, huh?
No, almost everybody's married. They all go home right after work.
All except old Roscoe, the lube man.
Well, he's your friend.
- He's 70 years old. - Oh, I guess that's too adult.
We go out for a couple of beers after work.
- Oh, that's nice. - It's dull.
All he talks about is his lumbago.
Well, you make school sound fun.
Well, school's got good points. I mean, smoking in the bathroom,
cutting classes, showing my tattoo to the chicks.
Would you ever think about going back?
I mean, there's a whole new crop of girls who haven't seen your tattoo.
You'd be a celebrity.
- My tattoo ain't that great. - No, no, no, listen.
You would be the only high school drop-in.
Well, how does a person go about, you know, dropping in?
All you do is go down to Principal Faraday's office and explain it to him.
- That's all. - Yeah?
Sure.
Come on.
You're coming with me.
So, Arthur, you wanna come back to school.
- May I ask why? - Sure.
Well, why do you wanna come back to school?
Tell him.
Well, sir, it's... It's this way...
Do you want me to tell him about the tattoo?
Well, sir, it's this way.
Fonzie felt that there was a...
A cultural void in his life.
Yeah, that's good.
And he realises that there's more to life than just being a mechanic
and he wants to finish his education
so he can pursue a more satisfying profession.
Yeah, that's good too.
Tell Arthur he can start back in the morning.
Cool.
Oh, Arthur, just a minute.
I wonder if you could take a look at my car.
- I'm still having that clutch trouble. - Not again.
How many times I gotta tell you this? Drive with your foot off the clutch.
I know, but it's not really...
No, I'm telling you,
I'm not gonna touch your car till you promise to drive
with your foot off the clutch.
- All right. - No, I wanna hear a promise.
I promise not to drive with my foot on the clutch.
All right. Bring it around to the shop.
And I'll see you tomorrow.
Oh, your father forgot his lunch.
What did you make?
Devilled ham.
He didn't forget it.
He left it on purpose. He says that stuff is ookie.
Well, I never knew that.
He didn't tell you because he didn't wanna hurt your feelings.
Richard, did you know that your father hated devilled ham?
Sure.
Well, the wife is always the last to know.
Wonder what else he doesn't like.
Maybe I should change perfume.
I gotta hurry, Mom.
This is Fonzie's first day back to school.
That's very nice, dear, but I'm sure even Fonzie
is taking time for breakfast.
Well, I'll bum a jellyroll off Potsie.
Well, that'll be good for a few cavities.
I want to get to school early too.
Jeanie Scarsdale's gonna tell us where babies come from.
She's got a book with pictures and everything.
You sit right down. I will drive you to school.
We'll have a little talk on the way.
Okay, but it won't be the same without pictures.
All right, class.
Settle down, settle down.
Girls.
Settle down, please.
Now, put your books under your desks
and take out a piece of paper for a pop quiz.
Hey, we're gonna have a quiz about our fathers.
- Yes. Can I help you, sir? - No, I'm no sir, I'm a new kid.
- Oh, a new student. - Yeah.
- Hey, look who's here. It's Fonzie. - What's he doing here?
- He's probably dating Miss Pratt. - No, no, he's dropping back in.
- You're kidding me. - No.
Class, we have a new student.
This is Arthur Fonzarelli.
All right.
You seem to be very popular.
Oh, yeah, yeah, but, by the way, I like to be called Fonzie.
- You may take a seat, Fonzie. - Thanks.
Hey, I think I would be very comfortable sitting right about here.
Right, and I think that you'd be more comfortable over there
with that lady over here and that pretty lady over there,
you move over there. Let's go. This lady wants to sit next to me,
I'm real sorry about that. That's the way that she wants it.
It won't take a minute.
Mr. Fonzie, you have disrupted the class.
Oh, I was just rearranging. You know, just to get the right atmosphere.
They were arranged alphabetically.
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know. You want me to put them back again?
No, never mind. Please sit down.
Now, before we begin the quiz, I would like to emphasise
one important contribution of President Truman.
Yeah, he encouraged everybody to take piano lessons.
Right, and he added a few new words to the dictionary.
Hey. Hey. Hey-
The teacher is talking here.
Thank you, Fonzie.
Hey, Cunningham.
Hey, Fonzie.
Hey, Cunningham. You know, I wanna tell you, you're so bright, you know?
You're a bright guy for someone who don't ride a motorcycle.
Oh, well, thanks.
I mean, you want me to do good, don't you?
Oh, yeah, of course.
Oh, I'll tell you something. You know, I'm having a really tough time
getting back into the swing of things, you know?
I just might need some assistance... Little assistance on all that homework.
Oh, sure. What kind of help do you need?
Yeah, well, actually I want you to do it for me.
Hey, Fonzie.
Hey. Hey, Trudy, listen, I got business.
- Find me a four-leaf clover, will you? - Okay.
Hey, you got my English homework for me?
Oh, sure. And the biology.
Oh, great.
- Listen, Fonzie... - Yeah.
I've been doing your homework for a week now
and the truth is, I haven't had much time to do my own.
Hey, you should have said something.
You don't have to do it anymore.
- Oh, thanks. - But I'm gonna miss your biology.
I mean, the way you draw those little germs.
Man, you gotta be the Rembrandt of bugs.
- Thanks. - But listen,
there's this little history exam tomorrow.
- You want me to tutor you? - What does that mean?
Tutor.
Tutor means help you study for the exam.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's what I need.
You come to the garage and you tutor while I fix Cutter Margolin's headers.
Listen, I got a better idea.
Why don't you come over to the house for dinner and we can study after.
- Sure. I'll come right after work. - Great.
Listen, answer for me in English, will you? I got an appointment.
Oh, yeah.
Hey.
- I couldn't find any. - Trudy, come here.
- You free tonight? - I'm always free for you.
Good. You can do my homework.
Richard, when is your guest getting here?
The mashed potatoes are getting stiff.
Fonzie will be here soon as he finishes working on Cutter Margolin's headers.
Oh, well, just as long as it's something important.
Fonzie's a hood.
- Joanie. - No, he's not.
He's just worldly.
Oh, that's probably him. I'll get it.
Fonzie's a hood.
Dear, I don't like to hear you talk like that.
He drives a motorcycle and motorcycle drivers are hoods.
Joanie, you just can't make a broad statement like that.
We saw The Wild One and Fonzie's just like Marlon Brando.
Fonzie, you remember my parents.
- Hey. - Fonzie.
- And that's my little sister, Joanie. - Hey.
Listen, I'm sorry I couldn't get into better threads, but, you know,
Cutter's rod took longer than I expected.
Oh, that's perfectly all right.
- Well, why don't we sit down? - Hey, great.
You sit here?
Hey.
- He took my chair. He took my... - Well, it's all right, he's a guest.
Hey, Dad, you never sat next to me before.
You're very observant, Joanie.
Dear, I told you not to wear your ears at the table.
What do you plan to do when you get out of school?
Oh, I was thinking I might become a cop.
That's very admirable.
I mean, it's the only job I know where they pay you to drive a motorcycle.
Pass the salt and pepper please, Marion.
Oh, hey, these are great mashed potatoes, Mrs. Cunningham.
Thank you.
Yeah, I mean good and stiff just like they make at the diner.
- You have a zip gun in your pocket? - No, just a crescent wrench.
What's the matter? You never saw a crescent wrench?
Well, not at the di... Not one as nice as that one.
Oh, yeah, it's my own personal crescent wrench.
We saw The Wild One.
- Crummy flick. - Oh, I should say so.
If I were Lee Marvin, I'd have cracked Brando's skull with that trophy.
Oh, my goodness.
- I really like your folks, Cunningham. - Yeah, well, they like you too.
Okay, let's get started.
Yeah, well, I think that we're gonna do it a little different
than what you had in mind.
Yeah, I'm gonna do the tutoring.
Oh, but you don't know much about American history.
No, but I know a lot about cheating.
Listen, I can't cheat.
Hey, I'm not gonna ask a good buddy to cheat.
I just need your help to get me over some of those rough spots.
Now, I'll show you what we're gonna do.
Yeah, but, Fonzie...
- Cough. - What?
Cough. You know, like when you got a cough.
You'll practise. All right, now, it's a true and false test.
I'll cough first, then you give me two coughs for true, one for false.
- You got it? - Fonzie, it's wrong.
No, that's the way it's always done. Two coughs for true, one for false.
- No, I mean it's not right. - You got a better way?
We could study.
Let's try it one more time.
Give me a true.
Better.
Miss Pratt's gonna think I got T.B.
Hey, you're right.
- Good, we'll study. - I got it.
You cough for the first ten questions, you whistle for the rest.
I can't whistle.
Cunningham, your heart just ain't in this.
Look,
I'm your buddy, right?
And buddies should help buddies, right?
Now, you kind of got me into this.
I mean, you said I could make it and that you'd help.
Well, I'm not making it so good
and I need you to help me out.
Where you been?
Fonzie, I gotta tell you something.
Mr. Cunningham, you're not only one minute late,
but you're compounding your tardiness by speaking in class.
Please put a tick-a-lock on your mouth.
Yes, ma'am.
Now, if the first desk would pass the papers back.
Fonzie says you're gonna help him cheat.
I changed my mind.
He's gonna kill you.
Either Fonzie wants you or he has the whooping cough.
I must have caught a germ in biology.
Turn around.
Fonzie, I'm sorry, but I can't cheat.
Not even for a friend.
Yeah, well, I figured that, Cunningham, but I am prepared.
And just where do you think you're going?
To hang up my sweater.
Absolutely nobody is allowed to leave his seat during a quiz.
Miss Pratt, could I open a window?
Yes, Fonzie, we can never have enough fresh air.
Hey, that's what I always say. Yeah.
Bird, beat it, bird, you're on my notes. Bird.
Bird, look what you did to my notes.
Even the birds are against him.
Boy, I'd hate to be you after school.
Me too.
Might as well get it over with.
Listen, you're my best friend.
If you want me to come along with you, I will.
Oh, I would really appreciate that, Potsie.
Some best friend.
You want me to get my jaw broken too?
Then who'd nurse you back to health?
You're right. Don't come with me.
Now, you're talking sense. But I'd go with you if you wanted me to.
Thanks.
Remember, I'm with you in spirit.
Yeah, yeah, I like you with your pom-poms. I'll call.
Hey.
Cunningham, come here.
- What are you gonna do with that? - I don't know, maybe buy a new lock.
I broke my key off in it. I need it to lock up my bike at night.
- You're not mad about today? - No.
See, guys like you, Pat Boone, Dick Clark, you're too square to cheat.
Besides, I didn't either.
- You didn't cheat? - No, know that girl in front of me?
She had the wrong crib sheet on her neck.
And that dumb bird messed up my notes at the window.
That's too bad.
Well, I passed anyway.
Fonzie, that's terrific.
Yeah. I got a 66.
Made it by one point.
Then I went down to the principal's office and I dropped out.
Yeah, but there's no reason to drop out now.
- It's no use. - Well, listen, look,
you proved that you can pass. You can pass.
No, I mean there's no use in trying to save this lock.
Here's a present. Come here.
You don't tell this to nobody.
What I'm trying to say is,
thanks for trying.
But I thought you wanted to be a cop.
Yeah, but I'm Mickey Mantle of the grease pits, right?
- You said it yourself. - Yeah, you're the best.
And I figure that hot rods
and dragging are gonna be around a long time, you know.
Like the ducktail and Buddy Holly.
I guess so.
I still kind of wish you were staying in school, though.
Hey, if I'm gonna drop out, now's the best time.
They don't think I dropped out because I'm dumb.
They think I dropped out because I'm cool. Dig?
Well, I gotta get back to the garage.
You can skip on back to class.
See you.
Hey, bookworm, have a good day.
Hey, don't forget your white shirt for assembly.
How was the Junior Chipmunk meeting?
It was good today.
Jennie Drysdale threw up.
Oh, maybe we'll talk about it later.
What kind of a day did you have at school today, Richard?
- He helped Fonzie cheat on a test. - Richard?
Is that true, Richard?
Because, you know, helping someone else cheat is just like...
I know, Dad, it's just like cheating yourself.
No, I didn't help Fonzie on the test.
How come he didn't break your face?
Fonzie wasn't mad at all. We're still good friends.
Oh, I can't tell you how good that makes me feel.
Oh, Howard, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to use the car again tomorrow
- to finish those errands for the PTA. - How am I gonna get to work?
Just ask her about sex and she'll drive you anywhere.
What's that supposed to mean?
It means our little girl is growing up, dean